Episode 1
I couldn’t hold on any longer.
Desperately clinging to knees that threatened to give out, I begged—
“Father……!”
Warm, metallic-tasting fluid surged up my throat. My throat burned like it was on fire.
I covered my mouth with a hand, trying desperately to swallow it down.
But with a splatter, blood spilled out past my palm.
My tear-blurred vision suddenly sharpened.
Blood.
That’s what this was.
But the color of the blood staining my hand wasn’t a clear crimson.
It was black.
Only a faint reddish hue flickered through the liquid—no, it was semi-solid, more like a jelly.
I knew exactly what this meant.
Mana contamination.
The corruption that started from my core had finally overtaken my body.
I’m going to die.
Maybe in a few hours, a few days at most—but no longer than that.
Coughing up congealed blood like this was no different from a death sentence falling from above.
I’d always known my time was limited.
I accepted it from the moment I first awakened my power.
Or at least—I thought I had.
I truly believed I was ready.
But now that death was suddenly right here… I was terrified.
Tears fell freely.
I don’t want to die like this.
I don’t want it to end like this.
My hands trembled from fear. The faint convulsions began to spread more violently.
Even my back, dulled from the surrounding cold, couldn’t withstand the fear of death.
If only I had hidden my powers—kept them a secret from everyone—maybe I wouldn’t be living with this curse.
“Father!”
But I had spoken up on my own.
I have power too! I can help! I’m not useless anymore!
I didn’t want to be a powerless, worthless burden.
Just for that moment, my family had acknowledged me.
And that alone made me happy.
I—I can help neutralize the backlash on Father and my brothers!
I wasn’t some remarkable hero, and not everyone noticed or praised me.
But that was okay.
Just being able to contribute—even a little—made me glad.
At least… at first.
Heugh…! Gurgle!
But my already weak and frail body slowly began to fail.
When did I first cough up blood?
I-It’s fine. I’ll be okay…
I can’t even remember anymore.
But at least, back then, the blood had still been bright red.
Even my brothers coughed up blood often without any treatment.
And they were fine.
So I must be fine too. I’m a daughter of Dragonia, aren’t I? I’ll be okay too…
Back then, I kept muttering excuses like that, endlessly, just to avoid facing reality—
the reality that I was dying.
Hey! Tarpaye! Hurry up and get over here!
…Was that my name?
Funny how I had the energy to care about something so pointless.
Back then, I was no better than a dumb dog, wagging its tail whenever its master came near, no matter how much it was starved or beaten.
I even welcomed it when my brothers—who couldn’t even remember my name properly—called me over just to use me.
Because that way, I could believe I was part of the family.
That I had some worth.
And that was enough to keep me from going back to being the useless idiot I once was…
At this rate, her lifespan is in danger.
The healer warned that I had less than a year left.
But when I heard those words, the thing that scared me most wasn’t death.
Am I going to be useless again…?
It was the way my family would look at me.
Because by then, there was a true saintess in Dragonia who possessed real purification powers.
Even on the day I received my death sentence, I still glanced at Father and my brothers, watching for their reactions.
You must refrain from all activity. If you want to regain any health, you need absolute rest…
No!
I was young. Ignorant. And even more than that—desperate.
I’m fine! I can handle it! This much is nothing! I can endure it, I swear!
So please… don’t leave me behind. Don’t look at me like you’re already ready to walk away…
Was it my desperation?
Or was it the usefulness they still saw in me?
This mission proceeds as planned. No changes to the lineup.
Your Grace!
Father ignored the healer’s recommendation.
And so, I continued to march on through deadly battlefields with my family.
Convinced I was part of the great Dragonia.
That I had finally been accepted.
Even if no one said it aloud—surely, deep down, they all cared for me…
Partania.
Or so I thought.
Through the howling winds and the whirling snow, a familiar voice called my name.
My only family—Father and my brothers—stood there, each with a different expression.
One frowned.
One glared.
One looked bored.
One looked annoyed.
“How long are you planning to lie there like that?”
…Was it all just a delusion?
I stared at them blankly.
On the snowy, icy field, their silver and golden figures were dazzling.
Their powerful, towering forms, gleaming armor, thick and luxurious furs…
In contrast, I was small and frail.
The reflection on the shield showed a pathetic figure in light armor too weak to hold up proper gear, drowning in an oversized fur coat with my wrists and ankles exposed.
“A child of Dragonia can’t even handle a bit of cold?”
The low voice was filled with cold, crushing disappointment.
N-No…
I instinctively tried to defend myself—but felt more blood rising and shut my mouth.
Father turned his back as if he no longer cared.
No.
I had always been weaker than my brothers.
I struggled to keep up during marches, always panting behind the others.
After the diagnosis, my stamina got even worse.
I couldn’t even keep pace with normal people anymore.
Whenever I voiced how hard it was, Father would frown.
Why?
You’re a child of Dragonia too. Why are you so lacking?
Whenever those heavy words fell, I couldn’t lift my head.
Ashamed and disgusted by my own inadequacy.
But this time…
“Father, please… I really can’t do this anymore…”
This time was different.
This time—I’m really going to die. This is the end.
In fear, I dared to contradict him.
I pleaded through tears.
Just once. Just this once—please, recognize my pain. My suffering.
Even once…
I’m really… going to die—
“Enough.”
He didn’t even let me finish.
His cold voice hit me like a slap.
“Stop whining.”
His pale, strikingly handsome face twisted in a sneer.
My eldest brother, Sieraph.
Unless I was actively absorbing their backlash, he never let me near him.
But sometimes—when I collapsed with fever—he’d cool my burning forehead with a hand as cold as snow.
So I told myself it was just extreme cleanliness.
“You’re not gonna die from this. So quit your whining.”
My second brother, Taran.
He ruffled his messy hair and muttered in irritation.
He always teased me, called me names—idiot, birdbrain.
But he often made potions to help me recover.
So I convinced myself he just had a foul mouth.
“Crying again? You cry at the drop of a hat. So annoying.”
My third brother, Calenso.
He mumbled with a blank face.
He despised me, the weak one unworthy of Dragonia’s name.
He barely even spoke to me.
But when I truly collapsed, he carried me more than once.
So I thought—he was just pretending not to care.
That deep down, they all cared.
But I was wrong.
“…No.”
Those frigid eyes held no warmth—no hint of affection.
Only disgust. Contempt.
So different from how they looked at the saintess with real purification powers.
The words caught in my throat.
Even as I collapsed into the snow, my dying body couldn’t even feel the cold.
Partania.
I raised my head in the snow to look upon the one who shone brighter than anyone—
My father.
The Grand Duke of the Northwest.
The ruler of Dragonia.
“You throw around words like ‘I’m dying’ far too easily.”
The man who brought me into this family.
Who claimed me as his daughter, despite my unclear origins.
Who gave me the name of Dragonia.
“Is that how a child of Dragonia behaves?”
He didn’t even look back.
“We’re moving out.”
With only a cold rebuke, he turned and walked away.
His footsteps etched into the snow, growing fainter.
Ah… it hurts.
It felt like my heart was being ripped out alive.
I couldn’t breathe.
But even that pain paled in comparison to the agony of being left behind.
Father…
Please don’t leave me here.
Take me with you.
I’m sorry. I’ll endure more. Just one more chance, please…!
Just as I tried to pour all my apologies into words—
“Shut up.”
A pair of icy blue eyes pierced through me.
“If you’re gonna keep whining like that, then just die. Just die already!”
That’s when I realized it.
Neither my brothers, nor my father—
Not a single one of them loved me.
None of them wanted me.
I meant nothing to anyone.
A single hot tear dropped silently onto the frozen snow.
Leaving only a tiny, pitiful trace—
as if I’d never existed at all.
Ha. Hahaha…
I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
With a burning head ready to burst, I thought:
Why did I keep struggling to live?
Why was I ever born at all…?
Facing death, I mocked my life. Regretted it.
And my weakened body finally gave out, collapsing completely into the snow.
Slowly stiffening.
…Birdbrain?
To be Continued…
Zeris World
TL – ZEPH
PR – ZEPH
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Enjoy Reading – Regards Miss Nyxx
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